


The King of Cardiff

by Cat_Moon



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-18 18:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20317714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Cat_Moon
Summary: Naked Hide and Seek isn't the only thing Jack cheats at. He's set his sights on bigger game, but is Cardiff ready for it?





	The King of Cardiff

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the "Reverse Fandom: Amazing Stories" challenge, over at ficlet_zone on Dreamwidth.

As the sound of the cog door faded, the two men entering the Hub could be heard having a... a thing. A thing involving words. _Domestic_, Owen would be thinking with a smirk. _Discussion_, Tosh would have added reproachfully if she could read his mind. _Argument_, Gwen would be hoping. In truth, the two men themselves would have been hard-pressed to define it. Kind of like their whole relationship.

“I don't believe you did that,” Ianto told Jack.

“What? Why did you leave the flyer in the tourist office if you didn't want me to do it?” he volleyed back.

Ianto's eyebrow raised incredulously. “It's a Cardiff business. We've all gotten one.”

“You say that now, but you secretly wanted me to enter.”

“Speaking of, does the concept of _secret_ organization ring a bell? Never mind, don't answer that,” Ianto added, thinking of a huge black SUV with the company name emblazoned on it in big letters.

“I have to ask, what did he do _now_?” Gwen laughingly queried. Knowing Jack, whatever it was would be entertaining. In their difficult and dangerous job, they took their amusement wherever they could get it.

“He entered the King of Cardiff contest the city is running for local businessmen,” Ianto explained.

“King? That sounds a bit sexist. What about the women?” Tosh wanted to know.

“Oh, there's a Queen of Cardiff, too.”

“Shoulda entered _that_ one,” Owen smirked, turning his attention to the scene playing out in front of him. Any excuse to get out of the paperwork he was currently working on.

“Oi!” Jack exclaimed. Then he added, “I'll have you know I look _fabulous_ in a pair of Jimmy Choos, but--”

“Cardiff isn't ready for that,” Ianto interjected.

“Cardiff's loss,” Jack told him.

Ianto struggled manfully to refrain from rolling his eyes. “I'm sure.”

Gwen's eyes twinkled at him. “Is that a sarcastic I'm sure, or an _I know for a fact,_ I'm sure.”

Ianto deigned not to answer.

Jack sighed. “Look, I guess I just wanted to relive my glory days. I won Rear of the Year, _and_ Face of Boe, I'll have you know.”

“You used to enter contests?” Tosh asked, intrigued.

“With a profile like this? It would be criminal not to!”

“Does anyone have any work to do?” Ianto asked the team pointedly.

“You the boss now, tea boy?”

“I'm in charge of the coffee,” was his comeback to Owen.

Owen wisely shut his mouth and turned back to his paperwork.

Hoping the conversation was at an end, Ianto moved over to the desks to start clearing away the litter the team always left in their wake. “That's not the worst part,” he said quietly to Tosh as he collected her mug for a refill. “He's been going 'round to all the judges. Using his pheromones to sway them to vote for him, in a patently unfair advantage.”

“Sounds like he should be disqualified for cheating,” Tosh responded, looking askance at her boss, who was heading towards them, no doubt curious to know what they were talking about.

“Oh, I intend to disqualify him,” Ianto told her. “As if I don't have _enough_ competition as it is,” he muttered, thinking of all the 'friends' Jack was making as he flirted his way along the campaign trail.

“No worries, _you're_ the only one who sees me in my Choos,” Jack whispered into his ear with a seductive purr.

Ianto cleared his throat, obviously flustered. “Be that as it may, it's not fair to the other contestants, they only have 21st century pheromones to work with.”

“You're no fun,” Jack pouted.

Ianto was silent for a moment, then he spoke softly, so his voice wouldn't carry to the others. “Tonight. You bring the Jimmy Choos, I'll bring the Unit cap, and we'll see about that.”

“Forget I said anything,” Jack hastily decided, hurrying to his office to finish his own paperwork. The sooner it was cleared away, the sooner it would be _tonight_.

**The end**

8/19/19


End file.
